If men are from Mars and women from Venus, This Means War drifts in cold, empty space somewhere between the two orbits, where, as the famous tagline goes, no one can hear you scream.
The film, the first to be directed by McG since 2009's Terminator Salvation, is sort of an action movie with a rom-com twist, and sort of a screwball comedy with explosions and shootouts, but doesn't commit enough in either direction to really please whichever half of the theoretical couples in the audience dragged their reluctant significant others along to the theater. Is this a movie about how the CIA's greatest partnership is almost destroyed by competition for the affections of a winsome blonde from Atlanta, or is it one about how said blonde has to choose between two dashing men keeping some serious secrets, the least of which is that they know each other and are also acquainted with each other's courtship plans? Bromance or romance, This Means War feels like something scrawled by enterprising teenagers who developed their concepts of love and espionage from films and TV shows they caught over a few weekends of basic cable surfing (Timothy Dowling, of Role Models and Just Go With It, and Simon Kinberg are credited for the screenplay).
This leaves you with no option but to lay back and bask in the movie-star wattage of the cast, which is considerable and unexpected, and try not to pay attention to anything they're actually doing or saying. Reese Witherspoon coasts through familiar territory as Lauren, a product tester who moved to Los Angeles for a guy (Warren Christie), broke things off after catching him cheating, then buried herself in her work rather than trying to move on to someone new. I like her far more as an actress when she manages to get away from the usual…
Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Gareis Jennifer Garner Jennifer Gimenez Jennifer Love Hewitt Jennifer Morrison Jennifer ODell Jennifer Scholle
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